Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
