The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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