At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
