using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
