win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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