I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
