You work out of a Hotel?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
