i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
