He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize