If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
MIDGETS
????
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
