She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
