He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
