im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
