no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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