He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
