Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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