Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
