I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
