have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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