Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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