I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
