based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
