when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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