i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
