the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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