You surviving the open bar?
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this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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