making cat noises will not fix the situation.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
