Buhtt sex?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
