It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
