Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
