new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
