I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
