I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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