wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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