I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
