There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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