there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
