i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
