Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
