my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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