She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
