Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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