being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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