I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
