My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
In America we eat man semen.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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