I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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