i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
