just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think people are normalizing furries
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
