He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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