I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
