In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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