I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Text me some of your sweat
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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