Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize