Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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