Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
