My hand turned me down
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
