she looked like the before picture.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
