I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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