This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize