I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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