Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
