i don't like sucking hair
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
