I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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