Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
