i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I need moral support for this bender
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
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