Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize